ecovlke's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 17: Merry Christmas, Mr. Lackluster Chapter 17: Merry Christmas, Mr. Lackluster Let us return back in time once more. Back to the days preceding Christmas of '76. To be exact, December 17, 1976. It was my first major boy/girl event. Tis the season I started hating Christmas music. I hated it because of the memories that it would conjure up for me for several years after the event to which I'm about to relate. I was an 8th grade clarinet player, and in love with an older woman. She was a 9th grade flute player. I just knew that she liked me because during summer marching practice she asked me to hold her flute while she tied her shoe, and during football season she asked me to hold her flag while she tied her shoe. It was now Christmas, and I was ready to let her know how I felt about her. Following our Christmas concert that year, there was a big band party. I was ready. That was going to be the night of nights. I was dropped off at the house where this Yule Tide festival was to take place by my mother. I was armed with my heart and a new shirt. I was feeling good. It was time. By the time I had arrived she was already there, but I did not see her. I found one of my buddys. I needed some support for this operation. He was hovering over the buffet. I asked if he had seen her, but all he saw when he entered the door was the food. About this time I noticed people coming and going out the door that led to the garage. I lured him away from the food and out into the dark garage with a bowl of M&Ms. Once we passed that magical doorway I was caught by the music and transported to a place I never knew existed. Here in the dimly lit garage were people my age...dancing. I had never seen people dance in real life before. It was incredible. The same people I saw in school everyday were paired off and dancing. I didn't know they knew how to dance. It was like a big secret that everybody but me knew. Through my amazement I saw her. She was standing all alone in the corner and slightly swaying to the music. She was beautiful. I left my buddy to make love to his bowl of M&Ms and headed towards her. She looked at me and smiled. There was a slow song playing and so everybody dancing was holding their partner close and swaying to the music. This looked easy so I asked her if she would like to dance. She told me that she would on the next slow song. I was so happy. Then it happened. After a couple of fast songs the next slow one came up in the rotation. As I headed towards her, she grabbed one of my other friends and started dancing with him. I stopped and looked in horror. As she faced me while dancing, she smiled. My friend that she was dancing with would give me a confused look and shrug. So after the song ended I asked her again, and I received the same answer. Agian the same thing happened, but only with a different friend. I gathered my shattered feelings and asked her one more time and she said that she would dance the next slow dance with me. After a bit she went over to the record player and looked at the playing order of the songs. Just before they played the last slow song of the night, she left. She left. I eventually headed outside feeling very dazed. I stood outside in the cold and stared at the stars for what seemed like an eternity. I then went back inside and called my mother to come and get me. I went back outside and hid in the shadows, trying to hold back tears until I saw my mothers car. I brushed the icicle like tears from my cheeks and put on my best "I had a damn good time" face and headed for the car. It was during the Christmas break that I would lock myself in my room, open my window up to let the cold air in, and listen to a song that I heard in a Leslie Caron movie: A song of love is a sad song/Hi-Lili, Hi-Lili, Hi-Lo/A song of love is a song of woe/Don't ask me how I know/A song of love is a sad song/For I have loved and it's so/I sit by the window and watch the rain/Hi- Lili,Hi-Lili,Hi-Lo/Tomorrow I'll probably love again/Hi-Lili, Hi-Lili, Hi-Lo. Sappy now, but back then it was oh so very painful. 7:44 p.m. - 2001-10-01 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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