ecovlke's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 16: Librium Roulette Chapter 16: Librium Roulette The middle 80s were my chlordiazepoxide days. I was just not getting the same old kick out of life that I did as a child. Boring would be a good way to put it if boring would ever came close to describing the emptyness that life had become. So I tried to kick start my enthusiasm for life and living by experimenting with, well with substances. I was using myself as a lab rat. My father was a disabled veteran. He served in the "Pacific Theater of Operations" during World War II. In other words he was stationed in a rear area of Hawaii. According to him he was a major and a fighter pilot. According to the U.S. Army he was a Tech-5 (corporal) and a light truck driver. His "war related injury" came about from him crashing a jeep while driving like a maniac during a leave. Any way the point is it got him a lot of free medication compliments of the Veterans Administration Hospital. A lot of free powerful medication. He was in fact a government sponsored junkie. He had a least 30 different pills that were prescribed to him at one time by several V.A. doctors. So he would never miss the few Librium that I would steal every now and then. Librium, for those unacquainted with this little green and black capsule, is an antianxiety pill. Feeling bored and lacklustered with life, I would take several of these before I layed down to sleep. Increasing the dose by a pill or two each day. I was thrilled by the prospect of not knowing if I would wake up the next day. Fortunately I got bored before I found out, which was around seven or eight pills at once. Most of my friends from work were all big drinkers, and I find this more to my liking. I did have some friends who were into heavier drugs like cocaine, heroine, etcetra. I was present during their usage, but I never would do these with them. Marijuana always made me sick. It messed too much with my equalibrium. At the time I was unaware of the chemical imbalance in my brain. The only real joy in life were my visits with my little daughter, music, and my art. It was around this time that I became interested in pirate radio, and as I related earlier, I was always addicted to music and the radio. 11:08 a.m. - 2001-09-29 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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