ecovlke's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- Chapter 6: Send In The Clowns... Or The Lions Chapter 6: Send In The Clowns... Or The Lions High school. My God, high school. How unprepared and ill informed was I for this little municipally enforced suicide mission. Like an underaged AEF doughboy charging out of the trenches at the Argonne, I charged into high school. Argonne. More like Gallipoli. The poor bastard. I didn't stand a chance. So as you can guess I didn't date. Not that I didn't try. I think my father was afraid that I was gay. Every weekend I was locked in my room listening to movie soundtracks. He would drop hints about dates and other nonsense associated with high school, girls, and weekends. Being dense I finally realized what it was that he was trying to say. So I would tell him that I had a date, would leave the house, and come back about the time I thought a date might end. Worked for me. I never talked things over with my parents. They never knew what I struggled with. I kept things to myself, or took things out on myself. I did get busted out by some girls that noticed the large self inflicted bruise on my arm. That little bit of "sharing" cost me a trip to the councilors office. The bruise came about as my official response to an ice storm which had frozen over a pond. Back to my attempts to date. I had it worked out to an exact science. Step 1: Monday ask girl out for Saturday night. Step 2: After securing a yes wait until Thursday to reconfirm. Step 3: Be told by girl on Friday that something has came up and she will not be able to go. Step 4: Inform father that you have a date. Step 5: Leave house on Saturday night, go to park and sit on the carosel, watch girl you asked out drive by with another guy. Step 6: Get carosel going at an ungodly rate and loose yourself in the glorious nausea. Step 7: Go home and describe what a lovely evening you had, retire to room, softly cry yourself to sleep. Step 8: Rinse and repeat the next Monday with the same girl. Do this for three years, or until the symptoms go away, or a rash developes. 11:03 a.m. - 2001-09-09 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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